Almost Nothing

I love dreaming about you ...because I get to see what we are not I get to wallow in everything the future says I get to see you grown and happy I get to see the best part of you I love having thoughts of you Thoughts of how much I love you Thoughts of me imagining everything it could turn out to be I get really impatient to see if we will never let go I love that I love you I love that I love letting everyone know it's you I love knowing I have to concentrate just on you  I love having to think and escape in your presence!

Trapped in a body  Filled with insecurities  And  a mind that doesn't Work   the  way society wants it  Daydream of a new life nightmares of suicide  Are the things I see all the time  Couldn't understand  Why does  this body feels So foreign to mine  Working hard for the things I want  Loosing focus in a minute long It's frustrating to see other people laugh  While I  am going through my 100 th mental breakdown in a 12 hour clock  Easy to say than to be done Always reminding myself  Trusting ain't no fun Can't speak when I have to Couldn't stop when I want to getting jealous of my friends  Even though I claim to love them  Stalking my ex  When I was the one who dumped them  Sometimes I feel too much  And then I just feel numb  Can't figure out  Is it my  hormones ? or Am I  just Dumb  Right now I am laying on the floor   wishing I could go back to my childhood  When life was good  And I wasn't confused