chaotic world

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Trapped in a body 
Filled with insecurities 
And  a mind that doesn't Work
  the  way society wants it 
Daydream of a new life
nightmares of suicide 
Are the things I see all the time 
Couldn't understand 
Why does  this body feels
So foreign to mine 
Working hard for the things I want 
Loosing focus in a minute long
It's frustrating to see other people laugh 
While I  am going through my 100 th mental breakdown in a 12 hour clock 
Easy to say than to be done
Always reminding myself 
Trusting ain't no fun
Can't speak when I have to
Couldn't stop when I want to
getting jealous of my friends 
Even though I claim to love them 
Stalking my ex 
When I was the one who dumped them 
Sometimes I feel too much 
And then I just feel numb 
Can't figure out 
Is it my  hormones ? or
Am I  just Dumb 
Right now I am laying on the floor  
wishing I could go back to my childhood 
When life was good 
And I wasn't confused

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